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Ask Amelia

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As the “mom-in-chief”, I often feel as if it is just assumed I will handle it “all”, and no questions asked. This seems to be the case even with my cancer diagnosis. If I really think about it, I have not taken time to truly be by myself in well over two years. I really need a short vacation [by myself], but feel guilty about even thinking it.

I saw a t-shirt a few years ago (which I bought for myself) that said “Eat the cake, Buy the shoes”...and I feel it is a subtle reminder to take time for the things that can bring some pleasure, even if just through their very sentiment. This is a guilt-free zone, so please know this: there is great healing in being able to take time to be alone, even if just for a day or a short time within a day. Sometimes, we keep moving and doing, and assuming that others know what we need or that we are ok, when we’re not. You’d be surprised that sometimes, if we just say, “I need to take a break” or “I need a day by myself”, that our loved ones will give us just that....time to heal and refresh. It is this that I wish for you. Take the time and be well!


Can you share the questions from the livestream event?

Thank you. Details from our livestream event are available here and include the Q&A’s!


Everyone is always saying “it could be worse”, but there are times when I want to say “yes, and it could also be better”...I don’t want to seem bitter and this may not even be a question, but I welcome your view.

The truth is that both of those statements are true, and I believe they can coexist without contradiction, and without anyone feeling or sounding bitter. Part of coping, especially through the labyrinth that is a cancer journey, is the ability to recognize ALL the emotions and feelings, and to NOT suppress the unpleasant ones. And while I believe having a positive mindset is crucial in successfully navigating the journey, part of that mindset is being able to acknowledge the times when we are feeling down, sad, or even overwhelmed, and to grow through it, versus feeling like we can only “look on the bright side”. So, I believe that seeing and feeling all the emotions is a healthy way forward, and allows you to get to the other side of the pain, for that moment in time. Each day is a new set of steps. Take it easy on yourself and remember to pace yourself. It is after all, your journey.


With love,
Amelia O.